I just received word this morning that, finally, finally, finally, I have a court date for my long-awaited, impossibly drawn-out divorce. When I wrote it down, I noticed something interesting: 4/4/2012.
Now, I'm no math whiz, but I see the number 4 screaming at me here. Obviously, the fourth day of the fourth month.Both 20 and 12 are divisible by 4: which works out to 5 and 3. Which equals 8. Which is 2 x 4. So I actually have four 4s.
So, I decided to look up the significance of the number 4. There are many systems of numerology, some Biblical, some mystical, others astrological. I found this one, and it makes lovely sense: "The symbolic meaning of number Four deals with stability and invokes the grounded nature of all things. Consider the four seasons, four directions, four elements all these amazingly powerful essences wrapped up in the nice square package of Four. Fours represent solidity, calmness, and home. A recurrence of Four in your life may signify the need to get back to your roots, center yourself, or even 'plant' yourself. Fours also indicate a need for persistence and endurance." It also associated with Mercury, who, in Roman mythology is the winged-footed messenger.
(This explanation appears on several websites, including www.whats-your-sign.com and witchesofthecraft.com).
This resonates with me on a number (no pun intended) of levels. I have felt for quite some time that this dragging divorce has prevented me from achieving completely solidity and calmness in my home. Yes, I have moved on, I support myself, am in a phenomenal relationship, and am happy all-around, but it still nags, and there are times, such as when I sign a check, that I feel that uneasiness creeping into my chest. I hate seeing, signing, or saying my married name. I hate hearing it. It bothers me that I can't update my documentation until this is done so I can complete my name and address change simultaneously. It disturbs my ducks. I hate haphazard ducks.
This date will also bring good news, or a message of freedom, finally. It also amuses me that anything that is "mercurial" in nature is something volatile or erratic, which is what this entire process has been.
As far as persistance and endurance...if the past two-plus years was not a test of persistance and endurance, nothing is. I have faced setbacks, delays, confusion, and all of that persistance and endurance will finally pay off on April 4th. It's closure of a chapter I will never have to revisit, the snipping of the final thread that connects me to that part of my past, and a chance to finally get those little quackers in the appropriate formation.